Dear Son

Ryne -

Almost a year has passed, now, since you were born (actually, 11 months has passed). Wow! What a difference a year can make in someone’s life. At this time last year, if I recall correctly, I was scared, nervous, excited, and curious, you name it – if it were an emotion, chances are I felt it. I had no idea what to expect once you were born. I do remember how desperately I wanted you to be born during the Iowa Hawkeyes bye week (that didn’t happen). I remember thinking how they (the Iowa Hawkeyes) were going to have a dream season to coincide with the year that you were born; what a year it was going to be the Iowa Hawkeyes were going to win the Rose Bowl the very first year that you were alive (that didn’t happen, either)! Oh well, the sun kept coming-up; life went-on. Last year turned-out better than I could have ever planned. Ryne, you entering your Mom’s and my life has been the greatest thing that has ever happened to us.

Everyday you bring us so much happiness. The little things that you do are the best: your smile when one of us first gets you out of your crib in the morning, the way that you open your mouth in anticipation of every bite of food that we feed you, the sly grin that you give when you want someone to chase after you right before you take-off, your little eyes barely peeking out the screen of the front storm door when your Mom or I go outside, I could go on… You have only been alive and with us for one year, yet I don’t remember what our lives were like prior to you joining us. I can’t imagine our lives without you. I’ve said this previously, but it merits saying again, ‘you can not describe how great being a parent is to someone who is not a parent,’ they just couldn’t and don’t understand. You are the greatest gift that I have ever received. Thank you.

I started this blog to convey my emotions regarding the pregnancy leading up to and the birth of you, Ryne. You see, Ryne, there are very few people who I feel comfortable discussing my emotions with, but at the same time I am quite an emotional person. I had a feeling that you would bring out the best of my emotions and I wanted to give a larger scope of people an idea as to what I was feeling in regards to you. And I wanted you to know how you make me feel. I want you to know without a doubt how much I love you. I am not an openly affectionate I person, and I am not a lovie (not Smith, bad joke) person. However, I hope to never shy away from showing you how much I love you. I want to be able to hug you, and tell you that I love you as you grow-up and into adulthood. Nonetheless, these words that I write, and that you read, are my feelings; they are my thoughts expressed for you, to you.

You have changed me, Ryne, and it has been for the better. I hope that I can return the favor and help mold you into an exceptional citizen/person. To steal from my favorite book, I want to raise you to be ‘a man built for others.’ I am optimistic that these blog entries will serve as a reminder of a) how to do that (be ‘a man built for others’) and b) just how much I love you. Hopefully, when you are a bit older, you will be able to reference these entries and to use them as a guide, to give you strength when you are in despair, and to remind you that you have always been and will always be loved.